Hey there:
Thanks for being brave enough to visit this page. It’s not easy to think about what might happen in a situation in which you or someone you love needs emergency medical care. However, a little bit of planning can save a lot of heartaches later. I’ve done my workshop EMERGENCY: Planning for Unplanned Healthcare at dozens of conferences, colleges, community group meetings and EACH TIME I hear horrible stories about LGBT people and the emergency room/hospital. It’s convinced me even more that we everyone needs this information, so please share it with your family, chosen family and friends.
Since I can’t get everywhere and do that workshop for everyone, I made a short, smart-ass video, starring some very queer looking Lego people. It’s not the whole workshop, or the most valuable part, which is the discussion, but hopefully it will help a few folks. You can watch that video here.
Here are some of the most important parts of the workshop:
#1. Do you have a health care proxy? No? Okay, think about the person who is biologically closest to you (immediate family member, would probably be a parent if they are still alive). Is that who you want making decisions about your health care if you were not able to make decisions for yourself?
Is that a no?
Okay, then, stop everything. You can find a comprehensive list of links to health care proxy forms (in some states it might be called a durable power of attorney for healthcare or a medical power of attorney) here. Each state’s form is different but it’s really not that much paperwork. Some states don’t require you to get the form notarized or even have a witness.The same site has some good information about choosing and being a health care agent (or proxy); if you have questions about the process they are probably answered here.
#2. Do you know what emergency room in your area has the best reputation? I’m not only talking about medically, you need to consider what emergency room has the best reputation for being most appropriate with LGBT, kinky, poly, heavily pierced, etc people. I don’t know the answer to this, the best way is to ask around your friendly neighborhood queers. Get a few opinions before you make up your mind. You may also want to think about selecting an urgent care facility that you could use if you had a problem that needed immediate treatment but that wasn’t life threatening (for example if you had a cut that needed stitches).
Unlike the emergency room, urgent care centers don’t have to see you if you’re not insured, but sometimes, if you have access to some cash, they can be a good bargain. For example, there are urgent care centers in Manhattan that charge 125 bucks for visit which includes basic labs, splinting, medication etc. Usually these prices will be on their website.
Of course, if you have to call 911 (a life threatening emergency) or need to have immediate treatment, you’ll end up the nearest ER.
#3. Pick an ER buddy.
Say it with me. Never go to the hospital alone.
One more time. Never go to the hospital alone.
In addition to your health care proxy, it’s good to take another support person with you, so your advocate/proxy can step out for a cup of coffee, take a breather, etc.
If you are geographically isolated, and you need some health care support, you can try LGBT friendly faith communities (there are often Metropolitan Community Churches where there aren’t even gay bars), PFLAGS, or even someone from a 12 step group you might participate in (those are literally, EVERYWHERE. I’m pretty sure there is an AA meeting on Mars happening right now).
4. I created a worksheet you can use to make sure you are prepared for an ER visit. The top part of the form has questions for you to think about; the bottom of the form you can fill out and rip off for the ER personnel. You can keep this with you, but if you live in a group situation my suggestion would be to put everyone’s form in a ziploc bag and place it in the freezer. It will be much easier for your housemates to find it there rather than pawing through your paperwork on your desk, your backpack, etc. PLANNING FOR A TRIP TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM
5. If you run into problems, there are folks ready and willing to help you out. Within the hospital, there are two people you should know about: the patient advocate and the nurse manager. The patient advocate is the person who can help you iron our situations when you feel like you aren’t being treated fairly or aren’t getting good care. They can negotiate with docs for you and they can even do things like authorize a private room for no cost (in some facilities anyway) even people are giving you shit about your gender. These are often 9-5, Monday-Friday positions, but some facilities have someone on call.
If there isn’t a patient advocate on call, you want to speak to the nurse manager for your area. They can do the same thing, although they don’t always have the same kind of blanket powers that the patient advocacy office has.
Hopefully you won’t need this, but you should also know about the risk management office. Basically, the risk management office exists to keep the hospital from being sued. If something is going on that seems unsafe to you and you can’t get results any other way, ask to speak to risk management. If folks can’t seem to help you find the number, you can google the name of the facility plus risk management office. They will almost always have an outside line you can access.
You can also complain to Joint Commission (the folks who do the licensing for hospitals) by calling the complaint line at 1-800-994-6610, or emailing complaints@jointcommission.org. And if you need some legal support, call Lambda Legal’s Help Desk, 866-542-8336.
#6.
Please remember this.
#7. YOU DESERVE HEALTH CARE
#8. YOU DESERVE HEALTH CARE
#9. 
Most of us don’t have all the details about our relationship with our body ironed out. It’s definitely complicated. But that doesn’t mean you can’t take steps to keep yourself as healthy as possible. If you don’t take care of body, where will you live? How will you fuck? What will you use to change the world?